क्या मेरी दुनिया बस चंपा 4 तक ही सिमट कर रहगयी है?
क्या मैं बस लोगों को आते जाते, मेरी खिड़की के सामने से गुज़ृते हुए देखता ही रह जाऊंगा?
क्या मैं अपने आप में इतना खो गया हूँ की मुझे कोई और नज़र अत ही नही या फिर क्या इसीलिए मैं किसी को नज़र अता नही?
It's not just about feeling wanted or liked....its much more than that....it's as if I'm existing for no specific reason. For who,what and why am I? Does anybody need me at all? Do I need anybody? Do they really need to need to me? Does a loner like to be alone or is it that he has no choice but to be one????
At some level I'm to blame for this distance that I seem to have created between everybody else and me(or is it I???...don't really give a fuck about grammar right now). In trying to shield myself from all the things I don't like...I've insulated myself in my own little cocoon. In trying to become self sufficient ,self reliant, independent and happy with myself; I think I've alienated myself from everyone else.
I can't remember the last time I was truly happy or excited....no it's not like I'm leading a morose and stale life but there is definitely a lack of excitement. I mean the only time there is nothing on my mind is probably when I'm playing a sport, where I just focus on doing well and winning.
It's not that all is dark here....I enjoy the company of my girlfriend, think we have a pretty neat thing going........
.......but there is still something that's missing in my life or so I think/feel. Desperately need to know what that elusive something is?(may be it's just a stiff drink :P) I dunno sometimes I feel I'm being too demanding, aiming for perfection even where I don't need it.
Time to post this, shut the lid and stare at the ceiling as I lay down in my '8x10 ki duniya'.
क्या मैं बस लोगों को आते जाते, मेरी खिड़की के सामने से गुज़ृते हुए देखता ही रह जाऊंगा?
क्या मैं अपने आप में इतना खो गया हूँ की मुझे कोई और नज़र अत ही नही या फिर क्या इसीलिए मैं किसी को नज़र अता नही?
It's not just about feeling wanted or liked....its much more than that....it's as if I'm existing for no specific reason. For who,what and why am I? Does anybody need me at all? Do I need anybody? Do they really need to need to me? Does a loner like to be alone or is it that he has no choice but to be one????
At some level I'm to blame for this distance that I seem to have created between everybody else and me(or is it I???...don't really give a fuck about grammar right now). In trying to shield myself from all the things I don't like...I've insulated myself in my own little cocoon. In trying to become self sufficient ,self reliant, independent and happy with myself; I think I've alienated myself from everyone else.
I can't remember the last time I was truly happy or excited....no it's not like I'm leading a morose and stale life but there is definitely a lack of excitement. I mean the only time there is nothing on my mind is probably when I'm playing a sport, where I just focus on doing well and winning.
It's not that all is dark here....I enjoy the company of my girlfriend, think we have a pretty neat thing going........
.......but there is still something that's missing in my life or so I think/feel. Desperately need to know what that elusive something is?(may be it's just a stiff drink :P) I dunno sometimes I feel I'm being too demanding, aiming for perfection even where I don't need it.
Time to post this, shut the lid and stare at the ceiling as I lay down in my '8x10 ki duniya'.
5 comments:
i like this shit you have written. good. introspection.
bad. nonsense coming out to public.
how do you as a loner, think that there is any kind of advantage that you gain by letting your introspection be public?
or
is it just a feeling of getting it out of your system that you want to feel by putting it on paper, irrespective of whether anyone reads it or not?
if it is so, then getting it out on paper, doesnt really GET IT OUT of you does it. it has just taken a more definite form, for you to deal with it.
just some shit that came to me in my 14*10 ki duniya.
hehehe it is the latter....dont really give a fuck if anybody reads it acts on it or not....jus wanted to write/talk about it....may b even as an archive to look back at sometime later in life
how i met your mother types aaa :))
action - reaction u knw :P
sometimes its you, sometimes ppl arnd you...
and i strongly feel, most of the times its totally situational! things we cn do lil bout!
lots of us have felt this at diff points of times in our lives...ur nt alone out there
get this something's missing feeling too...and now its only more than one!
somethings i chose, somethings are just there!!
gt outta tht 8x10 ki duniya..try things...try ppl...
or even better - mk this 8x10 space larger than life! put all u want in this 8x10 space, and expand and stretch it beyond its limits...nobody set them anyway!
hehehe...therz only so much i can fit in to my tiny lil room :P
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